Redefining Success: Moving beyond Titles to True Fulfillment
I’m learning that the path to success requires more than earning titles if the goal is enduring fulfillment in life.
It happened quickly and quietly. I found myself waking up one morning, finding that my professional achievements did not match the sense of accomplishment I expected.
In my late 30s, I had been told this stage of life would bring satisfaction from my accomplishments and space to reflect on the bigger picture. “You should feel proud because you have established a base and achieved goals that once felt impossible.” And yet, I felt the need to pause because the ladder I had been climbing suddenly seemed to lean against a wall I no longer wanted to climb. That was me…actually, this IS me. A knot in my stomach, my mind racing with questions:
“You invested so much time, money, and energy!”
“What do you mean this isn’t what you want to do?”
“Wait, what will the family think?”
“I thought this was what you wanted all along?”
“Really? You’re going to be that woman?”
“This isn’t an Eat Pray Love movie, Rowena.”
Don’t you love the company you keep in your head sometimes? That voice is meant to keep you in check, but sometimes, it’s the very voice that needs to be kept in check.
The good news? That pause button that sometimes comes in the form of an unforeseen circumstance — it’s a reminder that it’s not too late to pivot what success means. In fact, there may be no better time.
The Old Definition of Success (at least in my family)
People used to measure success through external signs, which included their job position and increased income. These accomplishments retain their value, yet they do not present the complete story.
Having titles does not guarantee happiness in life. Your paycheck will increase through promotions, but these career advancements tend to consume your energy resources. Our goal pursuit becomes misguided when social expectations from family members and peers, along with our past self, drive us toward goals that do not match our present identity.
It’s not failure to question this. It’s growth.
Why the Shift Happens in Your 30s and 40s
This is often the first time in life when the dust settles just enough to ask deeper questions:
Do I still love this work?
What valuable impact do I want to make?
What does balance look like for me now?
The cultural discussion about this subject has begun to transform. The workplace now values flexibility, well-being, and values-driven leadership equally to traditional metrics of salary bands and job levels. Gallup’s 2024 survey revealed that employees place more importance on showing up at their best each day than on the idea of long-term job satisfaction tied to a bigger paycheck. The public now debates whether success should focus on achieving titles or maintaining genuine alignment with fundamental organizational values.
Building Your Personal Success Compass
What methods do you use to create new definitions when your current ones become insufficient? Your personal success compass functions as a tool that leads you toward fulfillment when external accomplishments stop providing contentment.
The following three methods present possible approaches to begin the process:
Define Your Values
Identify the specific accomplishments or traits that you wish others to recognize in your work. Define success through your own values by emphasizing integrity, creativity, and impact instead of traditional achievement standards.
Notice What Energizes vs. Drains You
Observe the points at which your energy levels increase or decrease. Your daily work and life contain hidden fulfillment which you can discover through its small details. The project that brings you excitement holds greater value than a promotion that leaves you feeling unfulfilled.
Reframe the Choices
The decision to decline a job opportunity that does not match your current life situation can be considered more successful than accepting it. The definition of success might involve creating time for your physical well-being, your personal connections, and your artistic interests.
The Confidence to Pivot
Many people in their late 30s and 40s quietly wonder if it’s too late to change direction. But here’s the truth: your experience, credibility, and perspective make now an excellent time to act. You know yourself better. You’ve built resilience. That wisdom will guide both the big and small decisions ahead.
If you find yourself questioning your path, remember, this indicates development, not crisis.
Authenticity is the foundation of confidence. True confidence doesn’t require perfection; it requires alignment. When you choose in alignment with your present self, you naturally attract the right opportunities, employers, peers, and those you lead.
Success follows a steady progression instead of reaching a fixed endpoint. It will evolve as you do. The version of success that motivated you at 25 may not fit you at 40. The situation indicates development instead of a crisis.
So, give yourself permission to redefine it.
Final Thought
Success isn’t defined by your email sign-off (thank goodness for that!) The real sense of achievement comes from you creating something meaningful in your day-to-day…that be at work or the project you’re working on. Just ask yourself this; ‘What matters most to me right now’ without caring what ANYONE else thinks — easier said than done!
Each of us has the power to connect with what feels right and true for us in this moment — there’s no better time to move the needle forward than now — even if it’s just a small step, it’s FOR YOU and YOUR definition of SUCCESS.
